There Ought T'be Some Way T'eat Celery

As To Those Who Hoard Gold And Silver And Spend It Not In God's Path, Give Them, Then, The Tidings Of A Painful Agony: On A Day When These Things Shall Be Heated In Hell-fire, And Their Foreheads, And Their Sides, And Their Backs Shall Be Branded Therewith.

We'd All Like To Vote For The Best Man But He's Never A Candidate.

Beauty Is . . . A Valuable Asset If You're Poor Or Haven't Any Sense.

It Is No Disgrace To Be Poor, But It Might As Well Be.

Some People Pay A Compliment As If They Expected A Receipt.