There Are Two Kinds Of Cruises -

Sex After 90 Is Like Trying To Shoot Pool With A Rope. Even Putting My Cigar In Its Holder Is A Thrill.

I Get Up Every Morning And Read The Obituary Column. If My Name's Not There, I Eat Breakfast.

Just Because You're Old That Doesn't Mean You're More Forgetful. The Same People Whose Names I Can't Remember Now I Couldn't Remember Fifty Years Ago. . .

I Don't Worry About Getting Old. I'm Old Already. Only Young People Worry About Getting Old. When I Was 65, I Had Cupid's Eczema. I Don't Believe In Dying. It's Been Done. I'm Working On A New Exit. Besides, I Can't Die Now - I'm Booked.

Bridge Is A Game That Separates The Men From The Boys. It Also Separates Husbands And Wives.