If I Get Big Laughs, I'm A

Money Is The Root Of All Evil.' Then We Hear, 'a Fool And His Money Are Soon Parted.' What Are They Talking About? If Money Is So Evil, Shouldn't It Be, 'a Wise Man And His Money Are Soon Parted'? And Another Thing, How Does A Fool Get Money In The First Place? I Know Some Fools Who Have A Lot Of Money, But They Won't Tell Me How They Got It, And I Won't Tell Them.

I Don't Care What You Do For A Living. If You Love It, You Are A Success.

People Are Always Asking Me How Much I'm Worth. Well, All I Can Say Is, I've Got Enough Money To Last Me The Rest Of My Life. As Long As I Die In The Next 20 Minutes.

If It's A Good Script I'll Do It. And If It's A Bad Script, And They Pay Me Enough, I'll Do It.

If I Paid Ten Dollars For A Cigar, First I'd Make Love To It, Then I'd Smoke It.