There Are No Mistakes Only Opportunities.

It Is Less Dangerous To Draw A Cartoon Of Allah French-kissing Uncle Sam — Which, Let Me Make It Very Clear, I Have Not Done — Than It Is To Speak Honestly About [working Moms].

I Was A Little Excited But Mostly Blorft. "blorft" Is An Adjective I Just Made Up That Means 'completely Overwhelmed But Proceeding As If Everything Is Fine And Reacting To The Stress With The Torpor Of A Possum.' I Have Been Blorft Every Day For The Past Seven Years.

Do Your Thing And Don't Care If They Like It.

We Should Leave People Alone About Their Weight. Being Skinny For A While (provided You Actually Eat Food And Don't Take Pills Or Smoke To Get There) Is A Perfectly Fine Pastime. Everyone Should Try It Once, Like A Super-short Haircut Or Dating A White Guy.

Tracy: Stop Eating People's Old French Fries, Little Pigeon. Have Some Self-respect. Don't You Know You Can Fly?