I Am Constantly Amazed By Tina Fey.

I Have Two Daughters, And We Live Here In Manhattan, And Having Gone Through The Manhattan Kindergarten Application Process, Nothing Will Ever Rival The Stress Of That.

One Afternoon A Girl Walked By In A Bikini And My Cousin Janet Scoffed, “look At The Hips On Her.” I Panicked. What About The Hips? Were They Too Big? Too Small? What Were My Hips? I Didn’t Know Hips Could Be A Problem. I Thought There Was Just Fat Or Skinny. This Was How I Found Out That There Are An Infinite Number Of Things That Can Be “incorrect” On A Woman’s Body.

There Are No Mistakes Only Opportunities.

You Go Through Big Chunks Of Time Where You're Just Thinking, 'this Is Impossible - Oh,this Is Impossible'. And Then You Just Keep Going And Keep Going, And You Sort Of Do The Impossible.

And Don't Think That By Eating Freedom Fries You Are Being Patriotic And Helping The War Effort. Use Less Gasoline, Read A Newspaper. You Know What, How About We Cool It With The Freedom Fries Anyway You Fat Asses. We're The Fattest Country In The World. Have You Ever Walked Around An American Mall? It's Nothing But Chick Fillets And Lane Bryant Track Suits Busting At The Seams.