There Are Nights When The Wolves Are

One Of The More Pretentious Political Self-descriptions Is 'libertarian.' People Think It Puts Them Above The Fray. It Sounds Fashionable, And To The Uninitiated, Faintly Dangerous. Actually, It's Just One More Bullshit Political Philosophy.

I'm Offering A Special Prize For The First Buick On The Moon.

When I Was In Seventh Grade, I Was Caught Stealing Money From The Visiting Team's Locker Room During A Basketball Game. So I Was Sent To The Brothers. That's What They Called This Parochial School Up In Goshen, New York. I Was Supposed To Get Closer Supervision There And More "masculine Influence," Whatever That Means. But I Was Thrown Out For Telling A Couple Of Really Lame Kids On The Playground That I Had Heroin.

Some People Think Of The Glass As Half Full. Some People Think Of The Glass As Half Empty. I Think Of The Glass As Too Big.

If God Is All Powerful, Can He Make A Stone So Big That He Himself Can't Lift It?