There Are A Thousand Viewpoints In The

We Are Reorganizing In Order To Eliminate Duplication And Redundancy.

When A Place Advertises Itself As 'world Famous,' You May Be Sure It Isn't.

Martinis Are Like Breasts, One Isn't Enough, And Three Is Too Many.

A City Is Where You Can Sign A Petition, Boo The Chief Justice, Fish Off A Pier, Gaze At A Hippopotamus, Buy A Flower At The Corner, Or Get A Good Hamburger Or A Bad Girl At 4 A.m. A City Is Where Sirens Make White Streaks Of Sound In The Sky And Foghorns Speak In Dark Grays. San Francisco Is Such A City.

I Hope I Go To Heaven, And When I Do, I'm Going To Do What Every San Franciscan Does When He Gets There. He Looks Around And Says, 'it Ain't Bad, But It Ain't San Francisco.'