Then Let's Print Up Some Flyers!

The Customer’s Always Right.

I Don't Wear A Watch Because I Want My Arms To Weigh The Same.

My Fake Plants Died Because I Did Not Pretend To Water Them.

I Was Booked Into The Riviera Hotel In Las Vegas With Three Other Comedians. We All Were Using The Riviera In-house Shampoo, So We All Had Equal Shine And Bounce.

A Friend Said To Me, "i Think The Weather Is Trippy." I Said, "no, Man, It's Not The Weather That's Trippy, Perhaps It's The Way We Perceive It." And Then I Realized I Just Should Have Said, "yeah."