The World Is Full Of Horrible Things.

This Past Christmas, I Told My Girlfriend For Months In Advance That All I Wanted Was An Xbox. That's It. Beginning And End Of List, Xbox. You Know What She Got Me? A Homemade Frame With A Picture Of Us From Our First Date Together. Which Was Fine. Because I Got Her An Xbox.

I Had Written For Jimmy Kimmel And Sarah Silverman In The Past. Jimmy Had A Different Voice, And Different Priorities. He Couldnt Be The Bad Guy In The Joke; He Couldnt Upset People, Really.

I Enjoyed Writing For Someone Elses Voice, But I Wasnt Very Good At It.

I Would Love To Dj The Royal Wedding. Just So I Could Play Candle In The Wind Non-stop.

I'm Inspired By Making People Laugh At Subjects That Should Make Them Cry.