The Whole Object Of Comedy Is To

Sex, That’s Meaningless, I Can Understand That, But Dinner; That’s Heavy. That’s Like An Hour.

I've Been Car Crazy My Whole Life, Since I Was Nine Years Old. It's Just Something I'm Very Aware Of.

The Truth Is, I Had Always Wanted To Be A Comedian, But I Really Didn't Have That Kind Of Personality, And It's A Terrifying Thing To Say.

I See Tv Ads About Detergents That Can Get Blood Stains Out Of Your Cloths. I Say If You Have Blood Stains On Your Cloths You Should Be Thinking About Something Other Than Laundry.

You Can Measure Distance By Time. 'how Far Away Is It?' 'oh About 20 Minutes.' But It Doesn't Work The Other Way. 'when Do You Get Off Work?' 'around 3 Miles.'