Nothing Makes A Man Feel Older Than

A Freelance Is One Who Gets Paid By The Word -- Per Piece Or Perhaps.

I Can Remember The Day When All That A Professor Was Supposed To Do Was To Mark "c Minus" On Students' Examination Papers, Then Gohome To Tea. Nowadays They Seem To Feel That They Must Know Just How Much We (outside The University) Eat, What We Do With Our Spare Time, And How We Like Our Eggs.

Most Personal Correspondence Of Today Consists Of Letters The First Half Of Which Are Given Over To An Indexed Statement Of Why The Writer Hasn't Written Before, Followed By One Paragraph Of Small Talk, With The Remainder Devoted To Reasons Why It Is Imperative That The Letter Be Brought To A Close.

But Ice-crunching And Loud Gum-chewing, Together With Drumming On Tables, And Whistling The Same Tune 70 Times In Succession, Because They Indicate An Indifference On The Part Of The Perpetrator To The Rest Of The World In General, Are Not Only Registered On The Delicate Surfaces Of The Brain But Eat Little Holes In It Until It Finally Collapses Or Blows Up.

There Seems To Be No Lengths To Which Humorless People Will Not Go To Analyze Humor. It Seems To Worry Them.