The Trick Is Always To Write In

I Always Think That, Even When People Behave Badly, If You Like Something Deep Inside Them, Then There Is A Tiny Bit Of Nobility - They Wish They Could Be Good.

To Me, Most Theatre Looks Ridiculous. I Find It Very Difficult To Do. Personally, If I Ever Try To Do Serious Stuff, I Always End Up Looking Like An Asshole, So I Might As Well Try And Do Comedy, Because I'm Good At That.

All Those People Who Go Around Saying Life Begins At Forty, They're Notable By Their Absence. The Nerve.

People Come Up To Me In Supermarkets And Demand Humour. And The Less Amusing I Am, The More They Piss Themselves. So I Say, "i'm Doing My Shopping, Mate, Ok?" And The Guy Will Be On The Floor In Hysterics. Quite Odd. Eventually I Do Have To Say Something Funny So I Usually Go For Something Pathetic Like, "it's A Nice Place To Shop But I Wouldn't Like To Live Here!" And They Roar Again. Wet Themselves. I'm Lucky Though That I Am Not Massively Famous, I Can Get The Tube Without Much Bother. Must Be Awful Being The Beckhams.

I Think If You Try To Look For Something To Show Off As An Actor, Vanity Can Get The Better Of You.