The Thing About Narcissistic People Is That

The Characters That I Have On Twitter Have Very Little Resemblance To Me, The Person Who's Writing Them.

The Atkins' Diet Is Where You Eat Bacon For Six Or Seven Months...and The End Result Is That You Lose Weight. Because You're Dead.

I Thought I'd Be Living A Much More Bohemian Life And Be Very Poor. I Never Thought I'd Do Comedy Or Be Married Living In The Suburbs. Every Time I Try To Plan My Life Out It Just Doesn't Come To Pass, And I Think That's A Great Experience.

When You're Writing Something, And You're Putting Yourself Out There, Or You're Performing And Someone Comes In And Savages That, Then Of Course It Feels Personal. It Doesn't Feel Like It's Just Business, Because There's No Business - It's Not Like We're Conducting Business, This Anonymous Critic And I. It's Just That This Person Is Tearing Me A New Asshole.

I Think People Just Love To Win.