The Thing About Narcissistic People Is That

I'm Trying To Teach My Children Not To Cry. That's The Big Thing. No Crying. Because I Think We Can All Agree That Crying Is, For The Most Part, For Sissies. If My Team Loses, I'm Going To Cry. And I'm Going To Want My Kids To See Me Crying. Not Because I Think Sports Are So Important, But Because I Bet So Much Money On The Game That We'll Probably Lose The House If My Team Doesn't Win. That's Something To Cry About.

Kids Love To Be Silly, They Love To Laugh, So I Think It Was Natural For My Kids To Like The Sort Of Books That I Write - And It's The Only Kinds Of Books I'm Capable Of Writing.

I Thought I'd Be Living A Much More Bohemian Life And Be Very Poor. I Never Thought I'd Do Comedy Or Be Married Living In The Suburbs. Every Time I Try To Plan My Life Out It Just Doesn't Come To Pass, And I Think That's A Great Experience.

As A Game-show Host, What I'm Thinking And What I'm Experiencing Doesn't Matter. My Opinion Doesn't Matter. So There's A Flattened Reality To It. It's Fun To Do. But It's Certainly Not Myself In Totality - Or Even Maybe A Little Bit.

The Thing That I Think Is The Most Important Is Taking Moments To Express Your Appreciation To Your Partner. A Thank You Or A Quick Kiss Can Go A Long Way Toward Affirming Your Relationship And Commitment To Each Other. That's Not Hard To Do Even When You're Juggling Insane Careers And Three Kids.