The Shortest Distance Between Two Idiots Is

The Planets. Now Footnote, I'm Including Pluto In The Planets, Because I Think It's Terrible What They Did To Pluto. And It's Still A Planet To Me. I Grew Up With Pluto As A Planet, It Will Always Be A Planet.

I Started Being A Comedy Fan When I Was, I'm Going To Guess, Like 5 Or 6 Years Old.

When I Am Holding A Water Balloon, So Many Things Look So Unnecessarily Dry.

What's This About Rice Milk? I Didn't Even Know Rice Had Nipples!

Right Now Someone Out There Is Struggling And Starting To Panic Because They Can't Get Out Of A Tempurpedic Bed.