The Shortest Distance Between Two Idiots Is

Employee Of The Month Is A Good Example Of How Somebody Can Be Both A Winner And A Loser At The Same Time.

When Someone Shows You A Picture Of Their Kids What They Don't Want To Hear Is Oh, Yeah, I Got Pictures Of Your Kid Too.

What's This About Rice Milk? I Didn't Even Know Rice Had Nipples!

I Like Birthdays. Every Time Someone Is Born, That's Just Like Bringing More Cake Into The World.

When I Was In High School I Experimented Sexually. The Experiment Was To Never Have Sex With Anybody No Matter How Hard I Tried. Success! Hypothesis Confirmed.