I Would Like To Have Windshield Wipers

Skiing Is My Favorite Sport, Because, That's The Only Sport That Is Actually Better To Watch The Worst The Person Is At It. "that Guy Won A Gold Medal In The Olympics" "oh Yeah, That's Cool, I Wanna Watch The Fat Guy" "come On Dude, You Can Take That Hill"

Right Now Someone Out There Is Struggling And Starting To Panic Because They Can't Get Out Of A Tempurpedic Bed.

One Thing You Never Hear Is "man That Guy Is Good At Badminton".

To Make A Squirrel Look Less Uptight, Put Tiny Sunglasses On It.

I Like To Go To Concerts Because I Love To See My Favorite Band Through The Phone Of The Asshole Who's Standing In Front Of Me.