The Saddest Day Of The Year Is

The Gym Teacher's Name Was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso Did Not Speak English. He Spoke 'gym.' One Day I Was Playing Basketball And Mr. Caruso Told Me I Would Have To Get An Athletic Supporter. He Didn't Express Himself Exactly That Way, Though. He Said, 'hey, You, One Day You're Gonna Go Up For A Rebound And The Family Jewels Aren't Gonna Go With Ya.' I Had No Idea What He Was Talking About. Next Day I Showed Up For Practice Without My Watch And My Mezuzah. He Said, 'did Ya Take Care Of The Family Jewels?' I Said, 'i Left 'em In My Locker.' Took Us A Half Hour To Revive Mr. Caruso.

I've Been Able To Dine With Presidents, With Leaders Of Corporations, Traveled For 14 Years With (financier And Philanthropist) Michael Milken, Who Has Taught Me So Much About Life. Hanging Around With Them, It's Nothing I Could Have Believed In Grade School. I Could Be With All Of Them? Milton Berle, Don Rickles, Dean Martin ... This Former Third-string Pitcher From The Norristown High Baseball Team And The Son Of An Italian Immigrant? I Really Am In Awe When I Think That Has Happened To Me. What A Life.

My Goal Is To Live To Be 100.

When I Was Interviewed After I Got Hired To Replace Walter Alston, A Future Hall Of Famer, I Was Asked: “don’t You Feel Pressure On You?” I Said: “want To Know Something, I’m Worried About The Guy Who’s Going To Have To Replace Me.”

When We Lose, I Eat. When We Win, I Eat. I Also Eat When We're Rained Out.