The Real Santa Claus Is At The

Sooner Or Later, Everyone's Story Has An Unfortunate Event Or Two...the Solution, Of Course, Is To Stay As Far Away From The World As Possible And Lead A Safe, Simple Life.

He Looked Like The Sort Of Person Who Would Tell You That He Did Not Have An Umbrella To Lend You When He Actually Had Several And Simply Wanted To See You Get Soaked.

Nowhere In The World Is Safe," Count Olaf Said. Not With You Around," Violet Agreed. I'm No Worse Than Anyone Else," Count Olaf Said.

I Started Making Plans, Thinking We Would Get That Far.

I Was Once Almost Forced Off The Stage At A Large Chain Bookstore That Shall Remain Nameless, Because She Introduced Me As Lemony Snicket, And I Immediately Interrupted Her And Said, "oh No, Lemony Snicket Isn't Here," And Then She Tried To Cancel The Event Right Then And There.