The Plain Fact Is: Religion Must Die

As A Comedian, I Think We All Look For Those Areas Where The Truth Diverts From What People Are Saying. That's Why Politics Is Such A Rich Area For Us, Because Politicians Make Promises, And They Don't Keep Them, And When We Point Out The Difference, We Get The Laugh.

France... What Can You Say About A Country That Was Too Stupid To Get On Board With Our Wonderfully-conceived And Brilliantly-executed War In Iraq?

During The Depression, Or Back When We Were Fighting Hitler, People Didn't Have Time To Sue A Company If The Coffee Was Too Hot. There Were Urgent, Pressing Problems. If You Think You Have It Tough, Read History Books.

I Never Hear Terrorists Say 'merry Christmas,' Only 'allahu Akbar'.

In Washington, The Air Quality Today Was Described As 'red.'...you Know What 'red' Is? It's Bad For Everyone. Not Just Old People, Sick People And Babies. When It's Just Bad For Old People, Sick People And Babies, That's Called A Republican Budget.