The Plain Fact Is: Religion Must Die

One Of The Reasons I Still Do Stand-up Is Because It Was So Hard In The Beginning That I Feel Like It Would Be Such A Shame Not To Redeem It That It's All Fun.

The Media Is All Over This Oui Interview That Arnold Did 25 Years Ago. Now, He's Admitted He Smoked Pot, Had Group Sex And Didn't Mind Dating A Girl That Was Out Of Shape And Kind Of Fat If She Satisfied Him Sexually. So, His Handlers Have Stopped Comparing Him To Reagan And Started Comparing Him To Clinton.

The Difference Between A Hockey Mom And A Pit Bull: At Some Point, A Pit Bull Does Stop Whining.

People Sometimes Say How Standup Is So Hard, And I Always Tell Them That It's Hard At The Beginning.

If It Makes You Feel Any Better We Will Be Happy To Attack A Country That Had Nothing To Do With It.