One Of The Reasons I Still Do

I Want You Teabaggers Out There To Understand One Thing: While You Idolize The Founding Fathers And Dress Up Like Them, And Smell Like Them, I Think It's Pretty Clear That The Founding Fathers Would Have Hated Your Guts. And What's More, You Would've Hated Them. They Were Everything You Despise. They Studied Science, Read Plato, Hung Out In Paris And Thought The Bible Was Mostly Bulls**t.

Sarah Palin Has Already Had An Effect On Foreign Relations... The New President Of Pakistan, Ali Zardari, Is In Hot Water, Because Last Week, Sarah Was On A Class Trip To New York, Where She Met Foreign Leaders... And One Of The Leaders She Met Was Zardari, And He Was Gushing Over Her. He Said, Oh, You're More Gorgeous In Person Than You Are On Tv. And So The People In His Home Country Of Pakistan, The Islamists, They Issued A Fatwa On Him, For Being Too 'flirty.' And When Sarah Today Was Told That Zardari Had Gotten A Fatwa Because Of Her, She Said, 'i Know, I Felt It When He Hugged Me.'

I Would Describe My Spirituality As Exactly The Opposite Of Having A Religious Affiliation.

I'm For The Death Penalty, I'm Pro-abortion, I'm Pro-assisted Suicide, I'm Pro-regular Suicide. Anything That'll Get The Traffic Moving.

To Even Win A Nomination In This Country, You Have To Say You're A Person Of Great Faith. You Have To Pledge To The People Out There That You Put Your Faith In Things That Are Unable To Be Proven - That You Suspend Critical Thinking As The Way To Go.