People Sometimes Say How Standup Is So

You Want To Spend Your Millions On A Worthless Cause? Try Donating It To The Democrats.

I'm Worried About A Permanent Republican Majority. That's What I'm Worried About For The Future.

Don't Wear Bacon Cologne. If You Put On...you Know What? Screw It. Wear It. If You Are The Type Of Guy Who Is Tempted To Wear Bacon Cologne, It's Not Like You Could Get Laid Any Less.

We Don't Do Sensible Things. This Is America.

If We Stopped Calling It Profiling And Started Calling It "proactive Intelligence Screening" Or "high Alert Detecting", People Would Be Saying "well, It's About Time".