The Only Thing That Makes Me Crazier

Hey! Shouts Camel. There Ain't No Woman In The World Worth Two Bottles Of Whiskey!

I Hate This Bizarre Policy Of Protective Exclusion, Because It Effectively Writes Me Off The Page.

I Used To Think I Preferred Getting Old To The Alternative, But Now I'm Not Sure. Sometimes The Momotony Of Bingo And Sing-alongs And Ancient Dusty People Parked In The Hallway In Wheelchairs Makes Me Long For Death. Particularly When I Rememver That I'm One Of The Ancient Dusty People, Filed Away Like Some Worthless Tchotchke.

Age Is A Terrible Thief. Just When You're Getting The Hang Of Life, It Knocks Your Legs Out From Under You And Stoops Your Back. It Makes You Ache And Muddies Your Head And Silently Spreads Cancer Throughout Your Spouse.

I Strain To Hear, But My Old Ears, For All Their Obscene Hugeness, Pick Up Nothing But Snippets.