The Only Parts Left Of My Original

You Know You're Old If They Have Discontinued Your Blood Type.

When Buying A New House ... Buy The House Far Enough Away From School So Your Kids Can't Come Home For Lunch.

I Was The World's Ugliest Baby. When I Was Born, The Doctor Slapped Everybody.

I'm Looking For A Perfume To Overpower Men - I'm Sick Of Karate.

How Do You Know They're Growing Up? Well, The Bite Marks Are Higher.