The Only Issue Cash Presents You Is

People Are Brought Up To Think, "it's Nice To Be Modest. It's Nice To Hide Your Light Under A Bushel." Well, Bullshit! I've Never Bought That. In My Business, The Only Thing You've Really Got Is Your Talent; It's The Only Thing You Have To Sell.

Money Gives Me Just One Big Thing That's Really Important, And That's The Freedom Of Not Having To Worry About Money.

There's A Lot Of Hypocrisy In Audiences. I'd Never Dream Of Telling Even On A Nightclub Stage, Let Alone My Show, Some Of The Jokes That Are Told In A Lot Of The Living Rooms From Which We Get Those Letters!

There's A Big Difference Between Being A Loner And Being Lonely. I'm Far From Lonely. My Day Is Full Of Things I Enjoy, Starting With My Show. Any Time My Work Is Going Well And I Have A Relationship With A Woman That's Pretty Solid, That Does It For Me.

Anytime Four New Yorkers Get Into A Cab Together Without Arguing, A Bank Robbery Has Just Taken Place.