The One Thing I Think We Learned

I Like My Friends Because They Make Me Feel Normal, Even Though I'm Not.

I Never Write Anything Down. I Write Onstage.

In My Lifetime, We've Gone From Eisenhower To George W. Bush. We've Gone From John F. Kennedy To Al Gore. If This Is Evolution, I Believe That In Twelve Years, We'll Be Voting For Plants.

Some People Have Religion As A Means Of Solace. But, I Had A Dreidel, So That Was Out.

I Had More Material On Weather Than Anyone Else, I Guess, ... Back When I Was Traveling A Lot On The Road As A Standup Comic, Between Airport Security And The Weather... I Just Wanted To Be Prepared For Sitting In The Airport.