What Is The Difference Between A Democrat

The Thing Is, Whenever I See Hillary Clinton, I Feel Like I Have To Vote For Her. She Makes Me Feel Guilty Because I Feel Like I Should Vote For Her So That She'll Feel Better About Herself Because She'd Been In Such A Bad Marriage.

I Don't Know If Watching Chaz Bono Will Turn Your Kids Into Transsexuals, But I'm Pretty Sure That Letting Them Watch Keith Ablow Will Turn Them Into Assholes

I Never Thought That Bill Clinton Should Be The President. When He Was Running To Be The President Of The United States, He Said On Over A Hundred Occasions, He Said The Following: He Said, 'one Of The Great Accomplishments While I Was The Governor Of Arkansas, Was To Take My State In Education From 50th To 49th.' And I Thought, ' You Know, Bill, You Should Keep That A Secret.

I Knew That I'd Lived In New York Too Long When, A Few Years Ago, I Was On A Subway Going Downtown, And It Stopped At 14th Street. At The Station, The Doors Opened, And The Conductor Announced That There Was A Bomb On Board And We Should Evacuate Immediately. Nobody Moved. We Just Looked At Each Other, 'do You See A Bomb?' 'i Don't See A Bomb.' 'there's No Bomb.' 'i've Only Got Two Stops - Let's Go For It.

Everybody's Always Asking Me About My Blood Pressure. They Did An Interview Once Where They Hooked Me Up To A Blood Pressure Machine And They'd Rile Me. I'd Yell And Scream, And Then It Would Just Go Back To Normal In A Few Minutes. Everything Else Is Probably Rotting, But The Blood Pressure Is Spectacular.