The No. 1 Cause Of Forest Fires

I Read An Article That Said One In Five Americans Thinks Elvis Is Alive. I Want To Find Those Morons And Get Them Registered To Vote For Me.

We Have Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself...and Of Course The Boogieman.

I Admit I Do Have Some Drawbacks And Limitations As A Candidate. Although I Am A Professional Comedian, Some Of My Critics Maintain That This Is Not Enough. I Cannot Deny That I Stand Before You Untested And Inexperienced - I Only Spent Two Years In Television, Never As A Romantic Lead Or A Song And Dance Man.

I Think I'd Make A Pretty Good President, And They Have A Great Pension Plan.

Only A Cheap Politician, Greedy For Political Gain, Would Try To Single Out One Individual For Blame. The Fault Lies Not With The Individual But With The System, And That System Is Richard Nixon.