As I've Always Said: The Future Lies

You Have To Understand, I Can't Do Any Jokes About Ross Perot, Because The Last Thing I Need Right Now Is Another Credit Check.

Wine Is Something To Enjoy. We Get Sick And Tired Of People Who Pick It Apart And Talk About Its 'saucy Nuances.'

Assuming Either The Left Wing Or The Right Wing Gained Control Of The Country, It Would Probably Fly Around In Circles.

In America, Any Boy Can Grow Up To Become President. Or, If He Never Grows Up, Vice President.

Having A Comic In The White House Will Assure Stability In Foreign Relations. The World Will Continue To Respond To Foreign Initiatives By Saying, 'you Must Be Joking.'