Defy Your Own Group. Rebel Against Yourself.

All Parents Believe Their Children Can Do The Impossible. They Thought It The Minute We Were Born, And No Matter How Hard We've Tried To Prove Them Wrong, They All Think It About Us Now. And The Really Annoying Thing Is, They're Probably Right.

A Young Bride Can Put On Makeup At 6 In The Morning And Look Fabulous At Midnight. I Have About A 15-minute Window Where I Actually Look Good, And Then I Have To Wash My Face And Start Over.

Breaking Up: It's So Easy To Return Their Possessions, But So Hard To Get Our Brain Cells Back.

Men Should Come With Instruction Booklets.

This Is A Business Meal. The Calories Do Not Count. I Am Mentally Labeling These As 'business Calories' So My Body Will Know They Were Eaten In The Line Of Duty And Will Process Them Differently.