The More Ignorant You Are, The Quicker

Ignorance Lies Not In The Things You Don't Know, But In The Things You Know That Ain't So.

I Know Things Are Going To Get Better In Spite Of Both Sides. Then When Things Do Get Better, Then You'll Hear The Yell That Will Go Up. The Democrats Will Swear That Recovery Was Due To Them. Now The Republicans, They'll Say It Was Due To Them. Nobody Wanted To Claim The Credit For The Country Blowing Up, But Wait Until It Starts Picking Up And They'll Both Be On It Then. See?

There Will Never Be A Time When The Old Horse Is Not Superior To Any Auto Ever Made.

Mona Lisa Is The Only Beauty Who Went Through History And Retained Her Reputation.

Every Gag I Tell Must Be Based On Truth. No Matter How Much I May Exaggerate It, It Must Have A Certain Amount Of Truth.... Now Rumor Travels Faster, But It Don't Stay Put As Long As Truth.