The Lord Said 'let There Be Wheat'

Humor May Be Defined As The Kindly Contemplation Of The Incongruities Of Life, And The Artistic Expression Thereof.

Advertising: The Science Of Arresting The Human Intelligence Long Enough To Get Money From It.

You Frequently Ask, Where Are The Friends Of Your Childhood, And Urge That They Shall Be Brought Back To You. As Far As I Am Able To Learn, Those Of Your Friends Who Are Not In Jail Are Still Right There In Your Native Village. You Point Out That They Were Wont To Share Your Gambols, If So, You Are Certainly Entitled To Have Theirs Now.

If I Were Founding A University I Would Begin With A Smoking Room; Next A Dormitory; And Then A Decent Reading Room And A Library. After That, If I Still Had More Money That I Couldn't Use, I Would Hire A Professor And Get Some Text Books.

You Can Never Have International Peace As Long As You Have National Poverty.