The Hollywood Tradition I Like Best Is

There's A Big Difference Between Being A Loner And Being Lonely. I'm Far From Lonely. My Day Is Full Of Things I Enjoy, Starting With My Show. Any Time My Work Is Going Well And I Have A Relationship With A Woman That's Pretty Solid, That Does It For Me.

There Was This Billy Goat At A Movie Studio Who Found And Ate A Can Of Film. When A Nanny Asked Him How He Liked It, He Said, "it Was All Right But I Liked The Book Better."

In 1932, Lame Duck President Herbert Hoover Was So Desperate To Remain In The White House That He Dressed Up As Eleanor Roosevelt. When Fdr Discovered The Hoax In 1936, The Two Men Decided To Stay Together For The Sake Of The Children.

I Work Because I Enjoy What I'm Doing, And The Fact That I Make Money At It - Big Money - Is A Fine-and-dandy Side Fact.

Maybe We Should Hold The Next [olympic] Games In Afghanistan And Hope The Soviets Pull Out Of That One Too.