The Good Enough Parent, In Addition To

To Be Told That Our Child's Behavior Is "normal" Offers Little Solace When Our Feelings Are Badly Hurt, Or When We Worry That Hisactions Are Harmful At The Moment Or May Be Injurious To His Future. It Does Not Help Me As A Parent Nor Lessen My Worries When My Child Drives Carelessly, Even Dangerously, If I Am Told That This Is "normal" Behavior For Children Of His Age. I'd Much Prefer Him To Deviate From The Norm And Be A Cautious Driver!

As Anna Freud Remarked, The Toddler Who Wanders Off Into Some Other Aisle, Feels Lost, And Screams Anxiously For His Mother Neversays "i Got Lost," But Accusingly Says "you Lost Me!" It Is A Rare Mother Who Agrees That She Lost Him! She Expects Her Child To Stay With Her; In Her Experience It Is The Child Who Has Lost Track Of The Mother, While In The Child's Experience It Is The Mother Who Has Lost Track Of Him. Each View Is Entirely Correct From The Perspective Of The Individual Who Holds It .

Punishment May Make Us Obey The Orders We Are Given, But At Best It Will Only Teach An Obedience To Authority, Not A Self-control Which Enhances Our Self-respect.

The Question For The Child Is Not Do I Want To Be Good? But Whom Do I Want To Be Like?

As The Creative Adult Needs To Toy With Ideas, The Child, To Form His Ideas, Needs Toys--and Plenty Of Leisure And Scope To Play With Them As He Likes, And Not Just The Way Adults Think Proper. This Is Why He Must Be Given This Freedom For His Play To Be Successful And Truly Serve Him Well.