Among The Most Valuable But Least Appreciated

The Child Knows Only That He Engages In Play Because It Is Enjoyable. He Isn't Aware Of His Need To Play--a Need Which Has Its Source In The Pressure Of Unsolved Problems. Nor Does He Know That His Pleasure In Playing Comes From A Deep Sense Of Well-being That Is The Direct Result Of Feeling In Control Of Things, In Contrast To The Rest Of His Life, Which Is Managed By His Parents Or Other Adults.

The Goal In Raising One's Child Is To Enable Him, First, To Discover Who He Wants To Be, And Then To Become A Person Who Can Be Satisfied With Himself And His Way Of Life. Eventually He Ought To Be Able To Do In His Life Whatever Seems Important, Desirable, And Worthwhile To Him To Do; To Develop Relations With Other People That Are Constructive, Satisfying, Mutually Enriching; And To Bear Up Well Under The Stresses And Hardships He Will Unavoidably Encounter During His Life.

Raising Children Is A Creative Endeavor, An Art Rather Than A Science.

Punishment May Make Us Obey The Orders We Are Given, But At Best It Will Only Teach An Obedience To Authority, Not A Self-control Which Enhances Our Self-respect.

As Anna Freud Remarked, The Toddler Who Wanders Off Into Some Other Aisle, Feels Lost, And Screams Anxiously For His Mother Neversays "i Got Lost," But Accusingly Says "you Lost Me!" It Is A Rare Mother Who Agrees That She Lost Him! She Expects Her Child To Stay With Her; In Her Experience It Is The Child Who Has Lost Track Of The Mother, While In The Child's Experience It Is The Mother Who Has Lost Track Of Him. Each View Is Entirely Correct From The Perspective Of The Individual Who Holds It .