The First Time I Picked Up A

My Dad Gave Me A Haircut... And It Wasn't A Very Good One. When I Went Out Of The House, My Friends Got On My Case And Said It Looked Like Someone Put A Chili Bowl Over My Head And Cut Around It.

You Don't Get Old Being Stupid.

The First Time I Picked Up A Bat In A Professional Game, I Hit A Ball Hard Left-handed, And My First Home Run Was So Effortless, It Surprised Me.

When You Go To Other Parks, They Hang Banners For The Wild-card Or Eastern Division Or Western Division Champions. Around Here, They Don't Hang Anything Unless Its For Being World Champions.

Growing Old Is Mandatory; Growing Up Is Optional.