Jerry Falwell Says That Abortion And Homosexuality

With Browns' Ticket Prices What They Are, You Just Know That All Those Dads Who Brought The Entire Family To Sit In The 'dog Pound' Are Secretly Calculating How Much Blood They're Going To Have To Sell Next Week To Put Groceries On The Table.

Nothing Ruins The Mood During Foreplay More Than The Recurring Image Of Your Sixty-five-year-old Homeroom Teacher Trying To Stretch A Condom Over A Cucumber.

The Next Time You Get The Urge To Shut Somebody Up Because They Don't See The World Exactly The Same Way You Do, Take A Deep Breath, Get Out Your Bill Of Rights, And Count To The Ten Amendments.

The White House Again Refused To Turn Over Discussions Vice President Cheney Had With Enron Officials Over Energy Policy. Cheney Said If He Had To Disclose Every Time Some Business Donated A Ton Of Money Then Came In To Write Its Own Policy To Govern Itself, He Wouldn't Get Any Work Done.

I Love This Country For Several Reasons, Not The Least Of Which Is That I Know I'm Allowed To Hate It If I Want To.