The Depressing Thing About Tennis Is That

You Know When You See An Advertisement For A Casino, And They Have A Picture Of A Guy Winning Money? That's False Advertising, Because That Happens The Least. That's Like If You're Advertising A Hamburger, They Could Show A Guy Choking. "this Is What Happened Once."

Alcoholism Is A Disease, But It's The Only One You Can Get Yelled At For Having. Goddamn It Otto, You Are An Alcoholic. Goddamn It Otto, You Have Lupus... One Of Those Two Doesn't Sound Right.

I Got Two Stools, In Case I Want To Sit Down And Sit Down Again On Something Else.

I Want To Be A Race Car Passenger: Just A Guy Who Bugs The Driver. Say Man, Can I Turn On The Radio? You Should Slow Down. Why Do We Gotta Keep Going In Circles? Can I Put My Feet Out The Window? Man, You Really Like Tide.

If You Had A Friend Who Was A Tightrope Walker, And You Were Walking Down A Sidewalk, And He Fell, That Would Be Completely Unacceptable.