That Must Be Strange, Cheating On Your

You Know What They Say When A Supermodel Gets Pregnant? Now She's Eating For One.

The Senate Is Now Considering Increasing Government Subsidies For Corn Growers To Produce More Ethanol. If We Produce Enough Ethanol We Can Postpone Our Next Invasion Of A Middle Eastern Country For Two To Three Years.

A Top Geneticist At Stanford Says Human Intelligence Is Declining. You Know What That Means? We Are Seeing Congress At Its Smartest And Most Effective Right Now.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Announced That He Is Going To Run For Governor On Our Program Last Night. My Staff Didn't Know, Arnold's Staff Didn't Know, I Was Shocked As Everyone Else. If He Doesn't Get Elected Governor, Maybe He Should Work For The Cia. I Mean, He Can Keep A Secret Better Than They Can.

I'm Glad The Government Has Shut Down. Think About It, For The First Time In Years It's Safe To Talk On The Phone And Send Emails Without Anybody Listening In.