That Must Be Strange, Cheating On Your

The Best Way To Ruin A Comedy Is To Throw A Lot Of Money At It.

A Lot Of American Companies Are Now Moving Into Iraq. Iraq Now Has Pizza Hut, Subway, Taco Bell And Popeye's Fried Chicken. So, Great, Instead Of Oil For Food, We're Giving Them Oil In Food.

President Bush Released His Tax Returns Yesterday. He Listed The Economy As A Liability. He Gets To Write That Off.

A Second Homeland Security Official Has Been Arrested, A 49-year-old Guy Named Frank Figueroa, He Was Caught Exposing And Fondling Himself To A Teenage Girl In A Shopping Mall In Florida. Do You Realize? If Osama Bin Laden Was A 14-year Old Girl, We Would Have Had Him By Now. ... Who Is Going To Start Protecting Us From The Department Of Homeland Security? ... It Kind Of Makes You Long For The Good Old Wholesome Days Of The Clinton Administration.

According To The New York Times, More Than Half Of President Obama's Twitter Followers Are Fake. They Don't Even Exist. Which Is Actually A Good Thing Because If They Did Exist There Wouldn't Be Any Jobs For Them.