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Donald Trump Said He Still Wants To Look More Closely At Obama's Birth Certificate To Make Sure That It's Real. Incidentally, President Obama Said The Same Exact Thing About Donald Trump's Hair.

President Obama Became The First Sitting President To Visit A Federal Prison Yesterday. Obama Said It Was A Good Chance To Talk About Prison Reform, And To Catch Up With So Many Former Congressmen.

A New Survey Out Says 64 Percent Of Americans Own A Smartphone. Which Is Interesting Because In A Related Survey, 100 Percent Of Smart Phones Say They Own An American.

Department Store Santas Are Apparently Being Trained To Lower Children's Expectations About Toys Because Of The Recession. Yeah, It's Weird When You Ask Santa For A Train Set And He's Like, 'yeah, How 'bout A Bus Token?

Apple Is Developing A Service Called Home Kit That Will Allow People To Operate Gadgets Like Garage Openers And Thermostats Through One App. In Related News, Please Don't Tell My Parents About This. I Can't Be Explaining This Stuff Every Week.