I Like Being Absurd. Being Silly.

A Top Aide To Donald Trump Says He Quit The Campaign This Weekend Because Of Trump's Public Feuds, But Trump Said He Was Fired. When Asked What He Was Fired For, Trump Said, 'quitting!'

Today Is The Midterm Elections. The Washington Post Is Predicting That There's A 98 Percent Chance Of The Republicans Taking The Senate And The New York Times Says There's A 75 Percent Chance. And Cnn Said, 'wait, That's Today?'

Jeb Bush Gave A Speech Yesterday. He Had A Pretty Rough Time. He Accidentally Said That Isis Has 200,000 Men Instead Of 20,000, And Then He Mispronounced The Name Of The Terrorist Group Boko Haram. So If History Has Taught Us Anything, Jeb Is Well On His Way To Winning The White House.

John Mccain Addressed Critics Who Believe He Will Be Too Old To Run For A Sixth Term In The Senate, Saying That He's Still Healthy And Ready To Go. Then People Around Mccain Said, 'why Is He Talking To That Mannequin?'

Thank You, Horseradish, For Being Neither A Radish Nor A Horse. What You Are Is A Liar Food.