Take The Platypus - That Is Not

That’s Why Our Tvs Are Brimming With So Much Hot Man-on-pan Action. You Can’t Channel Surf For Long Without Seeing Turkey Getting Stuffed Over And Over Until They Finally Cut To The Gravy Shot.

Global Warming Isn't Real Because I Was Cold Today! Also Great News: World Hunger Is Over Because I Just Ate.

The Only Thing That Gets Me High Is The Musky Scent Of My Enemy's Fear

And When Those Bombs Went Off, There Were Runners Who, After Finishing A Marathon, Kept Running For Another Two Miles To The Hospital To Donate Blood. So, Here's What I Know - These Maniacs May Have Tried To Make Life Bad For The People Of Boston, But All They Can Ever Do, Is Show Just How Good Those People Are.

And Of Course I Don't Go Anywhere Without My Pet Goldfish, Anthrax. I Always Tell Security I'm Carrying Anthrax. Yeah, Sure I Get A Lot Of Guff About It, But It's A Family Name; I'm Not Changing It.