Nothing Is More Vintage Than Dying Of

There Is No Food Closer To My Heart Than Cheese. In Fact, According To My Doctor, It Has Nearly Filled My Aorta.

I Believe All God's Creatures Have A Soul... Except Bears, Bears Are Godless Killing Machines!

Writing And Producing The Show Is An Intellectual Process. Performing The Show Is Far More Athletic And Intuitive, Because You Don't Get To Do It Twice. It Helps If You've Done Whatever The Old Saw Is, 10,000 Hours Of It. Because I've Done 10,000 Hours Of Comedy, I Have This Database In My Mind Of What Works And What Doesn't Work.

If The Eyes Are The Window To The Soul, Then Why Does It Hurt When I Spray Them With Windex?

Well China, You Got Us. Phelps Was Doping - And He Still Beat You. He Smoked The Sticky-icky, And Then He Smoked Your Ass!