At My Age Flowers Scare Me.

People Ask Me What I'd Most Appreciate Getting For My Eighty-seventh Birthday. I Tell Them, A Paternity Suit.

When I Die I Intend To Take My Music With Me. I Don't Know What's Out There, But I Want To Make Sure It's In My Key.

Well, Anybody Can Be A Straight Man If He Hears Well. You Just Have To Wait For Laughs. A Straight Man Just Repeats The Questions And The Comedian Gets The Laughs And You Just Wait For Them And Don't Let Them Die Completely At The Tail End Of The Laugh.

Be Quick To Learn And Wise To Know.

Retirement At Sixty-five Is Ridiculous. When I Was Sixty-five I Still Had Pimples.