Success Is Just Happiness. When You Are

Sources Say The Obama Administration Is In The 'final Stages' Of Planning The Closing Of Guantanamo Bay. The Way It's Gonna Work Is, They're Going To Put A Radio Shack Sign Out Front And Let Nature Take Its Course.

When I See Professional Clowns, Mimes, Or People Who Makes Ballon Animals, I Think Of Their Relatives And How Disappointed They Must Be.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's Publicist Told Usa Today That The Actor Has Not Ruled Out Running For Governor Of California, Saying That He Will Make A Decision Soon. Reportedly Arnold Needs That Time To Learn How To Pronounce 'gubernatorial.'

President Obama Said That Over 40 Countries Have Offered To Help The U.s. Fight Isis. Of Course They Said It The Same Way Your Friends Do When They Promise To Help You Move. 'yeah Just Call Me, You Know, If I'm Around. It'll Be Fun.'

Disney World Is Celebrating Its 40th Birthday! You Can Tell The Characters Are Getting Old. In Addition To Snow White's Seven Dwarfs, She Now Has 25 Cats.