Disney World Is Celebrating Its 40th Birthday!

Scott Walker's Campaign Slogan Is 'reform. Growth. Safety.' Which Is Actually Similar To Donald Trump's New Slogan: 'mexico. Money. Crazy.'

The Federal Government Is Starting To Plan For Climate Change By Making Extended Forecasts That Can Help People Plan For Extreme Weather - Because What Can Go Wrong When You Combine The Efficiency Of Government With The Accuracy Of Weathermen?

Donald Trump's Not Backing Down. Yesterday He Said He Doesn't Need To Be Lectured By The Other Republican Candidates, Who He Says Have No Business Running For President. Not To Be Confused With Donald Trump, Who Ran For President And Now Has No Business.

Facebook Revealed That Ebola Was The Most Popular Facebook Topic In The U.s. This Year, With The World Cup Coming In Sixth. So Welcome To America, Where Even Ebola Is More Popular Than Soccer.

I'm On So Late I'm Definitely The Last Seconds Of Anyone's Attention. So I Just Want To Give Them Something Dumb To Laugh At, So They Go, 'that's Funny,' Then Fall Asleep.