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Chicks Named Tammy Have A Greater Chance Of Actually Driving A Mercedes Than A Chick Named Mercedes.

If In 1989 I Said, 'i Have An Idea: Bottle Water And Sell It. And Charge More Than A Beer,' They Would Have Chased Me Around With A Giant Butterfly Net. The Same With Paying To Watch A Television Station.

Wearing Crocs Is Like Getting Blown By A Dude. It Feels Great Until You Look Down And Realize You're Gay.

All's The Government Should Do Is Keep The Taxes And Regulations At A Manageable Rate, Keep A Decent Standing Army And Get Out Of The Way.

When I Fart My Ass Makes A Trumpet Sound That Heralds The Arrival Of The Smell.