Sometimes In A Movie, The Lines Are

Ten Delta Airlines Baggage Handlers Were Arrested For Smuggling Drugs Into Detroit. Yeah, You Can Tell Delta Was Involved, Because The Drugs Were Supposed To Be Smuggled Into Chicago.

Politics Is Pop. Our Job As Comedians - Especially Me, As A Late-night Talk Show, Which Is A Broader Audience - Is To Amplify What We Think America Is Thinking.

I Know What You Want. And I Know What You Need. But I'm Gonna Screw It Up, Yeah, Cause I'm An Idiot. And I'm Your Boyfriend.

Donald Trump's Not Backing Down. Yesterday He Said He Doesn't Need To Be Lectured By The Other Republican Candidates, Who He Says Have No Business Running For President. Not To Be Confused With Donald Trump, Who Ran For President And Now Has No Business.

Halloween Is Tomorrow. A Group Of Wine Experts Has Actually Come Up With A List Of The Best Wines To Pair With Halloween Candy. They Say, "white Wine Goes Great With Skittles, Red Wine Goes Great With Twix, And ... We're Alcoholics, Aren't We?