Sometimes In A Movie, The Lines Are

Officials At The London Olympics Will Be Conducting 5,000 Tests For Steroids. Or As Lance Armstrong Calls That, 'a Monday.'

There Are Reports That President Obama And His Family May Move To New York City After His Term Is Over. Unfortunately, The City Is So Expensive, He's Looking For Another Ex-president To Be Roommates With.

Rand Paul Is Officially Running For President. He Even Revealed His Campaign Slogan, Which Is 'defeat The Washington Machine. Unleash The American Dream.' It's Hard To Tell If He's Running For President Or Doing An Infomercial For Bowflex.

A New Study Found That Americans Are Exercising More Than Ever But Still Not Losing Much Weight. Not Good In Fact, It's All I Could Think About On My Jog To Dunkin' Donuts.

Today Google Celebrated Its 13th Anniversary.... That's Right, Google Turned 13 Years Old. Which Explains Why Today When I Searched For Something, Google Was Just Like, "i Don't Know. Stop Asking Me Questions! I'm Going Upstairs.