You Only Think Of The Best Comeback

Trump Is Running For President And He's Wasting No Time Getting Down To Business. In Fact, Just After His Announcement He Demanded To See Jeb Bush's Birth Certificate.

A New Report Claims That William Shakespeare Was A Marijuana User And May Have Been High When He Wrote Some Of His Plays. Which Explains That One Line: 'to Be, Or Not To Be . . . Wait, What Was The Question?'

People Are Being Really Picky About The Upcoming Election. I Read That Americans Do Not Want The Next President To Be A First-term Senator, Be Over 65, Or Have A Former President In The Family. Then The Secret Service Said, 'hey, Whoever Slips Through Slips Through. No Promises.'

This Week Bill Clinton Tweeted A Photo Of Himself Reading George W. Bush's New Book '41.' Then George W. Bush Responded To That Post On Instagram. Then John Mccain Said 'you Two Are Hilarious' By Telegraph.

Some Areas Near Dallas Experienced A 3.5-magnitude Earthquake, Which Some Blame On Fracking. However, Scientists Say That It Was More Likely Aftershocks From Chris Christie Celebrating At The Cowboys Game.