Sometimes I Get Really Lonely. Especially When

I'm Gonna Fix That Last Joke By Taking Out All The Words And Adding New Ones.

All These Jokes Have Been Pre-approved As Funny By Me.

If You Can't Sleep, Count Sheep. Don't Count Endangered Animals. You Will Run Out.

I Met The Girl Who Works At The Doubletree Front Desk, She Gave Me Her Number. It's Zero. I Tried To Call From Here, Some Other Woman Answered. "you Sound Older!"

When You Start Out In Comedy, Or Probably In A Lot Of Things, You Want It To Happen Fast. You Don't Want To See Yourself Having To Do This For Seven Years Before You Start To Get Some Feedback.