I'm Gonna Fix That Last Joke By

Have You Ever Tried Sugar Or Pcp?

It's Very Dangerous To Wave To People You Don't Know Because What If They Don't Have Hands? They'll Think You're Cocky.

It's Weird... People Say They're Not Like Apes. Now How Do You Explain Football Then?

An Escalator Can Never Break: It Can Only Become Stairs. You Should Never See An Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order Sign, Just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry For The Convenience.

When You're In Hollywood And You're A Comedian, Everybody Wants You To Do Other Things. All Right, You're A Stand-up Comedian, Can You Write Us A Script? That's Not Fair. That's Like If I Worked Hard To Become A Cook, And I'm A Really Good Cook, They'd Say, "ok, You're A Cook. Can You Farm?"