Some Weasel Took The Cork Out Of

What Would You Do If You Were President, And, On The First Day Of May, The Russian Ambassador Presented You With A Beautiful Cake Which Emitted A Curious Ticking Noise? Would You Plunge It Into A Pail Of Water - Thus Insulting Soviet Cuisine In General?

I Don't Drink Water. Have You Seen The Way It Rusts Pipes?

Comedy Is Merely Tragedy Happening To Someone Else.

Indeed, Moderation Is My Middle Name (though I Do Not Often Use It In Signing Legal Documents)

I've Been Drunk Only Once In My Life. But That Lasted For Twenty-three Years.