Some Weasel Took The Cork Out Of

I Was In Love With A Beautiful Blonde Once. She Drove Me To Drink. That's The One Thing I'm Indebted To Her For.

I'm Free Of All Prejudices. I Hate Everyone Equally.

Anyone Who Hates Children And Animals Can't Be All Bad.

I Am An Expert Of Electricity. My Father Occupied The Chair Of Applied Electricity At The State Prison.

W. C. Fields, A Lifetime Agnostic, Was Discovered Reading A Bible On His Deathbed. ''i'm Looking For A Loop-hole,'' He Explained.